At the beginning of a child's primary school, because the education method is very different from that of a kindergarten, the basics of the child are uneven, there are many words that are not known, and parents need to accompany the homework.
At first, the child may be fresh, so he will actively ask the parents to accompany the homework, and then they will transition to the parents to remind the child to do the homework every day, and finally how to tell the child he is unwilling to do the homework.
At this time, even if I started to do my homework, I would still be thinking about various delays and small actions. In no way can the child's enthusiasm for homework be raised, even if parents want to use some motivational methods.
In fact, the most fundamental reason is that children feel that learning is hard and boring. This kind of brain movement is passive, and children will find it boring.
If the child does not feel interested from the beginning, even the best things for them will have no motivation to do it. At this time, writing the homework is a kind of reluctance for the child to have to write, but he does not want to write from the heart. So it can only be delayed and perfunctory.
When children feel that writing homework is not interesting, how should parents guide their children to motivate them?
This is the stage that many children need to go through after going to school. From the positive at the beginning to the dull at last to the antipathy, the first thing parents need to do is not to take any action, but to reflect on it first. What do parents do when they are motivated and curious?
At the beginning, the parents' response to the child's learning will determine the child's attitude towards learning in the future. At the beginning of the question, there are mistakes. The child gets better results through corrections. At this time, the parents should encourage and praise them. At the beginning, the child did something wrong. Parents should not criticize first, but praise the efforts they have made to correct the mistakes.
At the beginning, every small progress should be encouraged, so that the child will know that as long as I work hard, I can succeed, and I can get the affirmation and praise of my parents, so that they have an interest in further learning and exploration, because Want more recognition and fulfillment.
In this process, the child's enthusiasm for learning will continue, and self-confidence will gradually build up in the difficulty challenge again and again. The sense of accomplishment is the motivation for the original intention to try again. When the children understand that they can be right with a little effort, they are willing to put in a little bit of effort, and the inner sense of accomplishment and the outer sense of belonging are inspired.
If parents write the homework side by side without compliment, they keep holding on to the child's mistakes and criticize the mistakes, which will make the child have a fear and disgust of learning, even if it is full of enthusiasm at first Manchuria will also be wiped out in criticism over and over again.
Because the child's efforts in correcting the wrong questions are not seen by the parents, but the errors are emphasized again and again, the shortcomings are pointed out again and again, not to mention the children, even the adults who are capable of frustration are unwilling In the face of others, they always say that they have failed.
When a child thinks that they are trying hard, they are all wrong. The only thing they can experience is frustration. The wrong ten questions are wrong, the wrong one is wrong, and they always get criticism. There is no sense of accomplishment inside, and no belonging outside. Children will feel that even if they work hard, it seems to be useless. What they get is always failure. It is better not to learn or perfunctory things. In the end, they feel disgusted and disgusted with learning about this matter.
There is a famous experiment in psychology called "learned helplessness", which means that a dog is kept in a cage, and as soon as he gets close to the food, he will be electroded, and finally he will be hungry without an electric shock. They will not actively approach food. This shows that helplessness is acquired through conditioning the day after tomorrow. This is the frustration effect.
The "hungry cat fan cage experiment" is that no matter how many mistakes a cat makes, how long it takes to get out of the cage will be rewarded after it comes out, and this cat will be rewarded again and again. Gradually progressed until the experiment was performed fifty or sixty times, and finally mastered a series of actions that were very complicated for him, and successfully came out of the cage in a short time.
Before the ultimate success, the number of mistakes did not decrease steadily, but was tortuous, and the length of time spent in the cage, but no matter how many mistakes, as long as they can successfully get out of the drive is a food reward. No penalty for failure.
The result of aggressive progress is a state of decreasing errors and increasing progress, which is the effect of success.
The same is true for children. When a child first starts school, the reason why he or she is tired of learning is actually a process of decreasing progress and increasing errors. Parents always criticize what is right and wrong, and ignore what is right. It is normal for children to make mistakes and change their perspectives. Looking in a positive direction, growth is the process of making mistakes.
For example, parents can only see the child dragging each time they do their homework, but they have to think that even if he does not like to do homework so much, he is still struggling to overcome his urge to play, and it is already commendable to sit at the desk Things up. There are two sides to any behavior, and parents must learn to see the good side.
Another example is that children's homework is not neat. Parents should not only criticize the crooked places they write, but also see the neat parts of his writing, and praise those well-written places, so that next time the child will work hard to treat every The words are better written.
If parents don't always allow their children to make mistakes, or if they are particularly strict about their mistakes, they may let the children give up. This is not to say that parents cannot criticize their children, but to pay attention to the ratio of praise and criticism. For example, five times the child is good, and then point out that once is not good, so the child is more willing to listen to the parents' opinions to make corrections.
Especially for children who have just gone to school, parents must change their attitude towards their children's homework, so as to maintain and increase their enthusiasm for homework and learning, so as not to make them tired of school. Lay a good foundation for better and more active hard learning in the future.